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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 379
Original Upload date August 30, 2010
Running time 0:02:22
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by benikaya
Great People
Guests: Todd (Toddly00)
Featured Clones

Todd (Toddly00)'s clones

Episode chronology
← Previous
"Dear Future Craig"
Next →
"Trinidad NOT Tobago"



[slides in/singing rug]
[banjo face] [slides/singing rug] [banjo face] [slides/singing rug] [banjo face] [slides/singing rug] [banjo face] [slides/singing rug] [sad face/sad music]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. I'm a little bit tired. I just flew in last night from the Emmys. Yeah, I was there. Mad Men won Outstanding Drama Series. Breaking Bad shoulda won! It's the best show currently on television but I'm not that upset cause Mad Men's a pretty good show!!!
Conflicting emotions. [banjo face] [sad face/sad music]
You know sometimes you get the feeling that celebrities are larger than life? Well, it's true. Here's me standing next to Tom Hanks. [Picture of Tom Hanks with an Emmy] Zoom in a bit. A little bit more. Yep, there I am. [A tiny Craig stands next to Tom Hanks' foot.] So what if I'm wearing the same clothes two days in a row, Aunt Judy?!
I managed to grab a piece of lint from Tom Hanks' pant leg. [Holds up a roll of paper towels] Turns out it's a partial paper towel roll. I'll never clean anything with this paper towel roll if I ever decide to start cleaning anything.
In other news... [there's a knock at the door] who could that be knocking on my kitchen door that's suddenly shut? [Opens kitchen door. Todd's standing there.]
[Craig:] Oh hey! It's my neighbor Todd, everybody.
[The audience laughs and applauds. Craig and Todd smile widely. Craig waves. Then turns back to Todd.]
[Craig:] So... how did you get into my kitchen?
[Todd:] I broke in. [The audience laughs.]
[Craig:] So, what can I do for you?
[Todd:] Well, I came to borrow some tr.... Holy crap, is that a cloning machine? [Walks in the direction of the cloning machine.]
[Craig:] No, wait!! [A bright light and buzzing sound can be seen/heard from offscreen a few times.]
[Todd walks back into frame, looking behind him:] Well, come on, guys. We got stuff to do!
[Todd clone #1:] I'm alive!!
[We hear Todd falling into the alligator pit:] Aaaaaaaa! [Alligator munches.]
[Todd clone #2:] I love being a clone.
[We hear Todd clone #1 fall into the alligator pit:] Aaaaaaa! [Alligator munches.]
[Todd clone #3:] I hate being a clone.
[We hear Todd clone #2 fall into the alligator pit:] Aaaaaaa! [Alligator munches.]
[Craig:] Oh yeah, look out for the alligator pit.
[Todd clone #3:] Yaaaaaay! [Alligator munches.]
Well, I guess no more Neighbor Todd. [Audience boos.] Oh come on! That's the first time I've ever introduced Neighbor Todd. [Audience boos.]
And now it's time for the rooftop weather. Take it away, me, on the roof.
[Craig, on the roof:] Let's see... uh... there's a cloud. [points] Some blue sky over there [points]. Kinda warm out. Yeah.
Me on the roof is so smart with the weather because I'm closer to it. That's how it works. The closer you are to something, the smarter you are about it.
[Holding a battery to the side of his forehead] Really knowing tons about electricity right now.
[Holding a guitar to the side of his face] And now music.
And now... [Puts globe up the side of his head] ... giant balls. That's not how I wanted that to work.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig runs across the roof:] Rooftop jumpkick! [Does a jumpkick] [Walks back to the camera] I actually just fell over.

Recurring elements

singing rug, banjo face, sad face, beardlovers, Aunt Judy, laugh track, clone, alligator pit, wink

Related videos

Handstand 8

External links

Big on YouTube