Beards on the Run 7 - Road Fighter

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"Beards on the Run 7 - Road Fighter"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 480
2011
Original Upload date March 19, 2011
Running time 0:03:14
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by
Great People
Guests: Matt Weber
Sam Grant
Jeff Samuels
Ian Purvis
Nalts
people from IHOP gathering
audiences in Baltimore, New York, Ardmore, Hamden
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Beards on the Run 6 - The Letter"
Next →
"Beards on the Run 8 - Road Fighter II"

Video

Transcript

[Craig's asleep in the van. Jeff sits behind him, watching him for a moment before banging on the top of his head with his hand.]
[Jeff:] Bang bang bang on your head, don't sleep now, make a video instead!
[Craig:] Stop it jerk!
[Jeff:] It's Jeff.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. 13th day on the road. [long sleepy pause] We had a good time in Baltim... Baltimore. [shot of crowd waving and cheering] And New York City. [shot of crowd waving and cheering] And Philadelphia. Ardmore. [shot of crowd waving and cheering] Aaaaaand Hamden Connecticut. [shot of crowd waving and cheering]
Many of you in the comments are gonna say that I'm stoned. I'm not stoned.
And tonight we're on our way to Cleveland for our final show of the tour. Hey, remember the beginning of this video when I said it was the 13th day? It has been brought to my attention that it's actually the 14th day. Apologies.
After all this time on the road, I would have thought we'd be at each other's throats by now but we're all getting along very well. It's great.
[Matt eats some peanuts from a jar. Starts yelling:] THESE PEANUTS ARE TOO SALTY!
[Driver guy eats peanuts from a bag:] Wow, these peanuts are awesome. I HATE AWESOME!
[Matt, screaming:] AAAAA! AAAAAA!
[Driver guy:] YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? YOU THINK IT"S FUNNY?? DID YOU MIND? [??]
[Jeff, banging on ceiling of van with his fist:} BANG BANG BANG BANG
[Craig starts yelling over everyone else yelling:] EVERY TIME! EVERY TIME WE GO THROUGH THIS! YOU GUYS!
[Matt:] THESE PEANUTS ARE NOT UP TO MY STANDARDS! AND THIS SODA DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH SIMPLE CARBOHYDRATES!
[Driver guy:] DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY PEANUTS! THESE ARE MINE!
[Craig:] EVERY TIME!
[Driver guy:] I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! [points to back seat] AND I HATE YOU!
[Craig:] EVERY TIME! SOME TIME! EVERY TIME!
[Jeff:} BANG BANG! I HATE ECONOMIC DISPARITY! AND BOMBS!
[Craig:] YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS!
[Matt:] AND YOUR SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES MAKE ME JEALOUS!
[Driver guy punches Matt, who avoids the punch. Jeff punches Craig. Jeff punches Matt. Matt punches Craig. Driver guy punches Jeff. Driver guy sticks his hand out window and punches an orange cone which tips but doesn't fall over. Craig punches Matt. Craig punches Matt again. Someone punches the driver a couple of times.]
[Driver guy:] Don't hit the driver!
[Craig punches Jeff. Driver guy punches an orange cone, which falls over this time.]
[Craig:] EVERY TIME!
[Sam pops up from back seat:] AAAAAAA! [Punches Matt with both fists. Matt falls down in front seat.]
[Craig:] EVERY TIME!
[Matt:] Wait, these aren't even my peanuts. [takes bag of peanuts from driver guy. eats them.] These are awesome!
[Driver guy pours peanuts from the bottle into his mouth:] These are too salty. That's awesome!
[Craig:] Problem solved. Friends forever.
[Jeff:] Hey, right on.
[Craig:] Peanuts under the bridge. [pause] Why is Sam here?
[Sam:] Well, I was running through an IHOP parking lot cause I thought it was a radar safe zone as usual. [Ripple effect to shot of Sam running through parking lot. Hears Chewbacca's cry. Stops running. Looks behind him and his mouth drop opens. Chewbacca cries out while pursuing Sam. (We don't see Chewbacca but camera is from Chewbacca's point of view.) Sam runs again. Ripple effect back to the van:]
[Sam:] So I quickly organized a gathering on Twitter.
[Ripple effect to the IHOP parking lot. Sam runs up to a crowd of people, including Nalts.]
[Sam:] Guys watch out! Chewbacca's coming! He's gonna kill us all! [The crowd screams and starts running. Sam, running beside one woman with dark hair:] Hey, it's cold outside. Take my jacket. [The woman takes the jacket. As she begins to put it on, Sam pushes her so she runs in a different direction from the rest of the crowd. Chewbacca cries out as he pursues just her and not the fleeing crowd.]
[Sam:] And then that girl was never seen or heard from again as... as far as I feel like it's important to know.
[Craig:] Ah, I love happy endings.
[The guys in the van hear Chewbacca's cry. They all slowly turn around.]
[Craig and Sam:] Chewbacca?
[Matt:] Charlie?
[Title on screen: To be concluded...]

Recurring elements

Driftless Pony Club (DPC), tour video, beardlovers, Chewbacca

Note

This is the first video with a wink or an outro in a long time.

External links

Beards on the Run 7 - Road Fighter on YouTube