Beards on the Run 4 - The Cliff

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"Beards on the Run 4 - The Cliff"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 477
Original Upload date March 9, 2011
Running time 0:02:57
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by Barbershop666
Great People
Guests: Matt Weber
Sam Grant
Jeff Samuels
Ian Purvis
audiences in Lee's Summit and Fort Worth
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Beards on the Run 3 - A New Friend"
Next →
"Beards on the Run 5 - Strong Arm"



[The band in the van, minus Sam. Driver guy is driving.]
[Matt:] Alright guys. This is it. Are you ready?
[Craig:] Yeah. Let's do it.
[The guys join hands, chanting:] Thelma and Louise. Thelma and Louise. Thelma and Louise. Thelma and Louise. [Shot of van going over a cliff.] Whoaaaaaa! [guys wave their hands. Shot of a van in freefall off a cliff.] Aaaaaaaaa!!
[Craig:] I'm not ready! I'm not ready!
[Matt:] We're coming for you!
[Jeff, slapping his hands on his thighs:] Slap, slap, slap my thigh, I'm driving off a cliff and I'm gonna die.
[Driver bum eats something (a doughnut?). Shot of van falling. Van explodes.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig sleeping in the van. Wakes up suddenly.] Oh, I just had a horrible dream.
[Matt:] That wasn't a dream. You were in a coma. We rented a new van. I'm actually in quite a lot of pain.
[Jeff rubs his shoulder and winces.]
[Craig:] Oh no, not you too, Joyce.
[Jeff:] It's Jeff.
[Driver guy:] I feel a lot better.
[Matt:] I lost most of my arm. [Just Matt's wrist, hand, and a tiny bit of his forearm protrude from his sleeve] But they were able to save the hand. [High fives the driver guy.]
[Driver guy:] Hey, up top! [goes for an up top high five but Matt's hand can't reach it]
[Matt:] Don't worry. The doctor said it'll grow back.
[Craig:] How could we have survived that?
[Matt:] Maybe because it's WEDNESDAY!
[Jeff:] Wednesday
[Driver guy:] EXPLOSIOOOOOOOOON! Woo hoo!
[Matt:] Wednesday!
[Craig:] But that's not even a thing. I think. Maybe. I'm not sure yet.
In explosion news [shows article] construction begins on Bloodhound supercar. It will be powered by a Eurofighter TYPHOON JET ENGINE bolted above a hybrid ROCKET. The power unit combination should deliver a thrust in the order of 200 kilonewtons.
Hey Matt, how fast are we going?
[Matt, who's driving now:] Uhhhh... about five kilonewtons.
[Craig:] What happened to that bum who was driving the van?
[Matt:] Uh, he's in a driving-related coma. [Shot of driver guy asleep in front passenger seat.]
[Craig:] So are we going fast?
[Matt:] I don't even know what a newton is, much less a kilonewton.
[Craig:] You've never heard of Isaac Newton?
[Matt:] Yeah, I've heard of him. I've got a couple of his albums. His early stuff is the best, though.
[Craig:] You know who likes to go fast?
[Matt:] Who?
[Craig, looking at the camera:] Craig with a Wig.
[Matt:] Interesting.
[Craig:] I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the beardlovers.
[Matt:] What?
[Craig:] The beardlovers.
[Matt:] Ohhh.
[Craig:] Yes, Craig with a Wig likes to go fast.
[Shot of Craig with a Wig inside the van, with his face pressed up against the glass because he's wedged in with all the luggage and gear.]
[Subtitle: Why did I agree to go on this trip?]
[As Craig with a Wig's head shifts with great difficulty, his theme song can be heard.] It's Craigity Craig Craig with a Wig [piano key] [Craig With a Wig smiles]
[Craig:] I'd like to thank everyone for coming out to Lee's Summit and Fort Worth. Transition EXPLOSION. [Title on screen: Lee's Summit, MO] [Shot of band playing and people watching] [Explosion] [Title on screen: Forth Worth, TX] [Shot of audience wooing] [Explosion]
Tonight we're playing at Super Happy Fun Land in Houston and tomorrow we're playing at Opening Bell Coffee in Dallas. Right, Matt?
[Matt:] Everything you said was entirely factual. And I wasn't even paying attention. Hmm. I wonder what Sam's up to. Transition EXPLOSION.
[Shot of Sam running down an empty road, running towards camera]
[Sam:] Ahh, what a beautiful day. Oh no! [shot of stop sign] Stop sign! What do I do? EXPLOSION! [Stop sign explodes] Oh yeah!! I have one speed: Go!!
[Viewer-submitted winks (many dings)]
[Jeff banging his necklace with his drumstick:] Bang bang bang on the bling. Explosion Wednesday should be a thing. [Explosion. The necklace is gone.] Maybe not.

Recurring elements

Driftless Pony Club (DPC), tour video, Explosion Wednesday, headlines, beardlovers, Craig with a Wig, wink

External links

Beards on the Run 4 - The Cliff on YouTube