Beards on the Run 1 - I Quit

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"Beards on the Run 1 - I Quit"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 474
Original Upload date March 5, 2011
Running time 0:03:43
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by WikiRiffs
Great People
Guests: Matt Weber
Jeff Samuels
Sam Grant
Ian Purvis
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Late Night with Wheezy Waiter"
Next →
"Beards on the Run 2 - SPRINGFIELD, MO! TONIGHT!"



[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. So I've got an exciting video planned for y... you know what? I quit. I quit YouTube. I'm gonna go travel with my band. YouTube's over. I'm tipping over my chair when I walk away. [walks away, tipping over chair]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Title on screen: Chicago, IL] [Craig, on phone:] Hey Matt.
[Matt, on phone:] What?
[Craig:] We gotta go on tour. I quit YouTube. I'm a rock star now.
[Matt:] Are you sure? What's YouTube?
[Craig:] YES! We gotta go!
[Matt:] Well, Nate can't come. He's an architect. So we need a drummer.
[Craig:] Uhhhh... the protests in Madison have a lot of drummers at them.
[Matt:] Yeah, I think you're right about that one. Alright, let's do it.
[Matt and Craig in the car, Matt driving, singing along to "T.N.T." by AC/DC.]
[Matt and Craig:] TNT. I'm dynamite!
[shot of Capitol building in Madison, title on screen: Madison, WI, sound of drumming]
[Matt, pointing at some drummers:] Hey, what about those guys?
[Matt walks up to a drummer who is chanting:] Bang bang bang the drum the government...
[Matt:] Hey, that's some good drumming.
[Drummer:] Thanks.
[Matt:] You wanna go on tour with my band?
[Matt and Craig in the car, Craig driving, singing:] TNT [The drummer leans forward to sing along:] Just watch me explooooooooode!
[Craig, on phone:] Matt, good news. I got our new drummer, JoJo.
[Drummer:] It's Jeff.
[Matt:] I know, I was there.
[Craig:] Now we need to practice.
[Matt:] Alright, but Sam doesn't like to go anywhere. Remember that time?
[Title on screen: 2 years ago. Matt pops his head in the door.]
[Matt:] Hey Sam, let's go!
[Sam, lying on the floor:] No. Hmm mmm.
[Matt, on phone, present day:] See, I told you so.
[Sam runs in:] Matt!
[Matt:] What? [speaks into phone:] Hold on.
[Sam:] I gotta get out of town.
[Matt:] Why?
[Sam:] I got a death threat. We gotta go.
[Matt puts the phone to his ear again and nods.]
[Craig, still on the phone with Matt, nods. Jeff, standing next to Craig, nods too.]
[Title on screen: Practice Space, IL.]
[Craig, at mic:] Alright, let's practice guys.
[Jeff drums. Badly. At one point drums his own head with a drumstick. Craig plucks at strings of his guitar with a couple of fingers. Matt attempts playing the back of his guitar. Craig begins making sounds that cannot be said to resemble singing in any way, sort of like moaning. Sam hits his bass strings with his arm.]
[Craig:] Wow, we're terrible.
[Title on screen: 10 minutes later]
[The band plays "House of 1982 Built Like A Ship"]
[Craig:] Wow, we're perfect.
[Matt closes gas cap on a van.] Well, all gassed up. Let's go!
[Sam:] Does this van have an antenna?
[Matt:] Yep. Top of the line.
[Sam:] If they've got an antenna, they can track me. I gotta get out of here. I'll meet you guys in St. Louis. [takes off running]
[Matt:] Where are you going? I was going to make you drive the entire way.
[Guy on the phone at a phone booth:] Hey, I'll drive.
[Matt:] Who are you?
[Guy at phone booth:] I'm a bum. [Matt throws him the keys.]
[Inside the van]
[Craig:] We did it!
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Craig and Jeff:] Woo!
[Matt:] Yeah
[Craig:] We're on tour! Let's go to St. Louis!
[Matt:] Yep, and everybody's here.
[Craig:] All my friends are here.
[Matt:] The whole gang.
[Craig:] We've got Jenga...
[Jeff:] Jeff.
[Craig:] and uhhh.... Matt is here...
[Matt:] Yep.
[Craig:] And who's driving?
[Matt:] He's a bum!
[Driver guy:] My face feels funny.
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro in corner of a guy playing outro on his guitar and winking (with no ding, but an annotation that says ding)]
That's right. Driftless Pony Club is playing in St. Louis tonight and we're playing in Lee's Summit outside of Kansas CIty, Missouri on Monday. And there's also a link in the doobly-doo to the next episode of fridaynitebytes, that sketch show that I'm a part of.
[Title on screen: hours later]
[Title on screen: St. Louis, MO. Matt stares upwards.] I wonder if Sam is looking up at the same stars as I am right now. [begins singing] Somewhere... [Sam runs up and stops, panting.] Hey Sam. Did you run all the way here to St. Louis?
[Sam:] I think so. Gotta keep running. Can't let 'em track me. Gotta get inside.
[Matt:] Yeah, let's play a show, man.
[They go inside the Lemp Neighborhood Arts Center.]
[outtakes: Craig and Matt in the car, Matt driving, Matt yawns. Craig and Matt sing along with Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" :] Is like bad medicine. Bad medicine is what I need. [Jeff leans forward to sing along] Oh oh oh, shake it up, it's like bad medicine. [Craig sings some gibberish.]

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), tour video, wink, doobly-doo, fridaynitebYtes, song

External links

Beards on the Run 1 - I Quit on YouTube