Arguably Canada

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"Arguably Canada"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 423
Original Upload date November 17, 2010
Running time 0:04:08
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by Corey Vidal
Great People
Guests: Corey Vidal
crowd from Toronto gathering
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Introducing the Wheezy Shoe"
Next →
"Clones, Lasers, and Antimatter, Oh My!"



[slides in/white background/singing rug is Celine Dion music]
Hey beardlovers. I suppose you're wondering why the ground is playing Celine Dion. [Slides again/Celine Dion music] [slides again/Celine Dion music] Well, I'm in Canada! Canada. CanaDAD. CanaNANDA. Canada. Not sure if it's a thing yet.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Anyway, Celine Dion, not that I pay much attention at all, is from Canada. She was born in Charlemagne, Quebec and as she grew up, she emerged as a teen star in the French-speaking world and then after the release of her album Unison, she became a superstar in North America and all parts of the world that speak English.
I don't know all that stuff about her. I just looked it up. I don't even listen to her music at all. That's just the way it is. [sings:] That's the way it is.
Sometimes when I travel I get lonely, so on my way to Canada, I brought a friend. [Boing sound as a zit on Craig's face is highlighted]
So you may be asking... [Speech impediment guy:] Why ah you in Canada Wheezy Waitoe?
First of all, you may need to work on the pronunciation of your Rs, beardlovers. Secondly, remember that rooftop battle I got in with the Canadian on my battle? Canadian? And then he returned and we got into a light saber battle? You don't know about that one? Well, that one's linked in the doobly-doo. Well, that was Corey Vidal. You know, the guy who made that four-quadrant John Williams video.
[Craig appears in four different quadrants on the screen, wearing a different t-shirt in each. Sings to the tune of the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme:] This is Corey's. Corey's wall. I'm at Corey's. Corey Vidal's house. O Canada. [Craig in the lower right quadrant is late and sings "O Canada" later than the other three.]
That's linked in the doobly-doo also.
Well, I came to Canada to apologize. Corey, could you come here for a second?
[Corey slides in/Celine Dion rug]
[Craig:] I just want to let you know that I'm really sorry about the whole rooftop battle.
[Corey:] Thank you. I'm sorry too. [Corey pronounces "sorry" with a Canadian accent so it sounds like "sore-y." Craig is clearly confused.]
[Craig:] You're... you're what?
[Corey:] Well, I'm sorry about what happened.
[Craig:] You're sore-y? I... [shakes his head] I thought... You told me you were gonna apologize on camera.
[Corey:] Craig, I'm sorry.
[Craig:] Is that... is that like a French word?
[Craig alone on screen again, sighs]
Well, that didn't work out due to language barrier. What should I do now?
[A crowd of people:] I think the coffee's done, eh?
For serious?
[Crowd of people:] For serious, eh?
I love it when the coffee's done! Thank you random group of strangers in downtown Toronto!
[sits, and sips from Tim Horton's mug.] Mmm. Tim Horton's. Canadian for coffee. Hehehe. [Audience laughs too.] That's a Canadian inside joke. I'm an international traveler. I know things. I'm not afraid to get out, explore. I'm a regular David Thompson... [shows website] arguably the greatest geographer the world has ever known. [Text on screen: and he's from Canada] [shows drawing of him] That's actually not clothes he's wearing. That's what the naked Canadian body looks like. Arguably.
That statement's true because I used the word 'arguably.'
American actor Jason Schwartzmann has three pelvises. [long pause] Arguably.
I'm arguably a 14 year old Japanese geisha [pronounces it gee-sha]. Geisha? [pronounces it gay-sha] The correct pronunciation is arguably geisha. [geesha]
Did you know that the US and Canada share the world's largest border? You know what they say about the countries with the largest border. [smiles and raises his eyebrows a few times, which boing each time.] They're the US and Canada. I implied what I already said.
Did you know that Canada and the US actually fought a war? And the US won. [Corey slides in/Celine Dion rug]
[Corey:] Actually, that war was fought between the United States and Great Britain on the land that would eventually become Canada. And I believe we won that war. [Text on screen: The War of 1812]
[Craig:] That's bullcrap.
[Corey:] Remember the Battle of Queenston Heights and your troops and militias surrendered to the British forces...
[Craig:] That... ah... strategic retreat. That was.. that battle wasn't worth it. It was too cold.
[Corey:] No, and then there was the time where our forces made it down to what is now known as the White House and burned down the presidential mansion.
[Craig:] Uh... That didn't happen.
[Corey:] Yes it did.
[Craig:] No.
[Corey:] Yes.
[Craig:] No.
[Corey:] Yes.
[Craig:] Uh uh.
[Corey:] Yeah, and then everything ended when you guys initiated the treaty of... um... what was that treaty called? Well, you should know. I mean, you initiated...
[Craig:] Um...
[Corey:] ... that.
[Craig:] Uh... I... strategically retreat... from this argument. [gets up and walks out of frame.]
[Corey:] Oh. [looks around for a moment] I'm sorry. [Long pause] [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
First of all, you may need to work on the pronunciation of your Rs, beardlove... ahhhh... I may... I may need to work on my... the pronunciation of the... the English language.
Well, I came to Canada to apologize. Corey, could you come here for a second? [Corey slides in/Celine Dion rug]
[Craig:] I just wanted to let you know that I'm really sorry about the whole rooftop battle.
[Corey:] You said sorry [sorey]
[Craig:] I said sorey?
[Corey:] Yeah.
[They laugh. Corey slides out/Celine Dion rug]

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, boinging blemish, Speech impediment guy, doobly-doo, song, "I love it when the coffee's done!", laugh track, wink, outtakes


This is the first appearance of the Craig who talks funny who we'll call Speech impediment guy.

Related videos

Craig's rooftop battle with Corey appeared in Craig vs Canada.
Handstand 50 - Downtown Toronto

External links

Arguably Canada on YouTube