Apple Jackson 5

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"Apple Jackson 5"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 104
Original Upload date January 26, 2009
Running time 0:01:57
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by aussielexi
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Eggs Benatar"
Next →
"Get Over Yourself"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. Remember what it used to sound like when I slid on this floor? [clip of old video of Craig rolling in his chair with scratchy sound] That's because my floor went bad. It started peeling. Chips of wood would come off every time the chair rolled over it. I would find chips of wood in my socks, in my food, my girlfriend's hair, my soul, my happiness.
But yesterday I found a solution. [puts rug down over peeling floor] The lesson here is that you don't have to fix your problems. Just cover them up. Hide them. That's what I did and now when I roll my chair, it sounds like this: [rolls chair to sound of angelic singing]. [Rolls chair again. And again.]
Hey, you know what else may have gone bad? [picture of a segway] Segue! This milk. At least according to the date on it. But someone once told me you can't actually get sick from bad milk. It just tastes bad. I think this guy told me. [Picture of Wheezy's boss] [smells milk] Huh. That's not putrid enough for me to not drink it.
Speaking of bad... [two pictures of segways] Double segue! ... Michael Jackson had an album called Bad. And Michael Jackson made his start in the Jackson 5. One of their hits was a song about the first three in a list of things [photo of cover of ABC] [holds up a box of Apple Jacks and the bottle of milk] Guess we're gonna have some Apple Jackson 5.
[singing while pouring cereal into bowl, sniffing milk, eating cereal:] ABC, as easy as do re mi, ABC, 123, baby you and me girl, ABC, as easy as Monday Tuesday Wednesday, January February March, George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson, baby you and me girl. ABC as simple as hydrogen helium lithium, precambrian paleozoic mesozoic, 123 baby you and me girl.
Thanks for all the winks you've been sending me so far. And all the really positive comments. Even after I told you to write negative comments. You guys are really nice. Well, I guess aussielexie is an exception.
[aussielexie:] Hey Wheezy Waiter, you suck. [wink (ding) wink (ding)]
[ or outro]
[outtakes:] Precambrian paleozoic... double segue! ... double segue!

Recurring elements

beardlovers, singing rug, segue, breakfast puns, song, wink, outtakes


This is the first video with the singing rug, the music of which actually comes from a band Craig was in called Ozark Cousins.
This is the first of the breakfast puns videos in which Craig does a song parody instead of just using or covering the original song.

External links

Apple Jackson 5 on YouTube