All Aliens go to Heaven

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"All Aliens go to Heaven"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 393
2010
Original Upload date September 20, 2010
Running time 0:02:39
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by lullation13
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Oddball"
Next →
"How to Live Forever"

Video

Transcript

[Craig sits quietly, staring at the screen for three seconds before shouting:] Hey beardlovers! Haha. You thought the video wasn't working. I totally got you.
Or maybe not. Whatever. You still had fun.
Fun is awesome!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
SrPanc writes [shows comment] Punch things in the darkness!!
Psh. What? Darkness? [A black box zips onto the screen] Oh, that darkness. [Punches the black box. The eagle flies overhead but flies in the other direction before the black box travels upward.]
I almost blotted out that pesky eagle. Oh! Darkness is going in front of the sun. Aaaand... [Black box lands on the nightstand] ... landed on my nightstand. I'm going to knock that darkness' lights out! Or... it doesn't have light, but you know, it's just an expression!
[Craig, standing by the nightstand, punches the black box, but reacts in pain as his hand penetrates it] Aaaaaa! [He raises his hand and there's a knife sticking out of it.] Aaaaaaa!!! [Shows us the knife is between his fingers] Just kidding. I did that to teach you a lesson. That's why you don't punch things in the dark. Paid for by M.I.L.F. Mothers Into Lit Fighting. [Pictures of a woman and a lightbulb]
xwiwi writes [shows comment] You really scare me. [Craig puts on oversized round sunglasses in order to mimic the emoticon in the comment O_O ]
Really? I don't see why you should be SCARED! Sorry, I think I'm coming down with something. I get a little moody when I'm sick. It makes me TALK crazy someTIMES!
thetiger756 writes [shows comment] Your upper-beard (mustache) looks like frown... This saddens me.
It doesn't bother me.
[Extreme closeup of his mustache. Speaks in a sad voice.] But it bothers my mustache. [His mustache mimics the emoticon in the comment :( as sad music plays.]
[Craig gets up and turns his head upside down so his mustache looks like it's smiling as banjo music plays. It's a banjo face by his mustache. Cuts to a shot of Craig with a yellow smiley face superimposed over his lower face. Sits down.]
Yes, this is how I spend my time, Aunt Judy!
Not that I know if you were judging me about that.
Yes I do!
Maybe you were.
Maybe I don't know.
Maybe I do know.
No.
Yes!
What were we talking about?
Let's talk about the news.
[shows article] Pope's astronomer would baptize aliens. "Any entity, no matter how many tentacles it has, has a soul," he told the British newspaper.
Really? I thought the church had a problem with baptizing anything except humans. That means I can baptize ... ummm.... [whale sounds] my whale, [alligator growl] my alligator, [eagle squawks. Craig looks up. The eagle flies overhead.] Not you, eagle! You get a different kind of water! Hit him with your blowhole spear, whale! [Water shoots up from whale tank into the sky. It hits the eagle, who flies off.] Nice! [to whale tank] Pound it! Oh, that's right. You have fins. Never mind. I got it covered. [pounds giant fist that's mounted on the wall] Yeah!
[Viewer-submitted outro theme and wink]
Another reminder about the Ty the Regular Guy shirt. They're on sale for a limited time. You can't buy them after Friday. Don't let... [turns towards window] trucks keep driving past your house while you're trying to do a video blog. Grrr! Don't let this happen to you.
[Craig and a clone sit side by side. The Ty the Regular Guy t-shirt is superimposed over the Craig.]
[Clone:] Hey, that's a pretty nice superimposed picture over your body.
[Craig:] Pretend it's a real shirt. This is a reenactment.
[Clone:] I... I... I mean that's a nice... shirt.
[Craig:] Thanks. I bought it on the internet. It's mine.
[Clone:] Where can I get one?
[Craig:] You can't get one. They were a limited time. You missed your opportunity.
[Clone starts crying. Sad music plays as he sobs.]
[Craig, wearing the t-shirt smiles as the clone sobs. Banjo face]
[The eagle flies down into the whale tank.]
[Craig:] Crap!
[Whale sounds and punching sounds and eagle squawks come from the whale tank.]
[Clone:] Epic eagle versus whale battle!

Recurring elements

beardlovers, comments, eagle, emoticon expression, banjo face, Aunt Judy, headlines, whale tank, alligator pit, wink, merchandise, clone

Related videos

Handstand 21

External links

All Aliens go to Heaven on YouTube