[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I think I'm done with explosions. It's just not something... [ducks as a missile flies by and his bookshelf explodes. A pile of books and stuff is left in the explosion's wake.] Apparently explosions aren't done with me yet.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So, apparently it's WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY [He is propelled by an explosion over to the pile of stuff where his bookshelf used to be. He picks up a book.] Hmm. [The book is a Streetcar Named Desire] Stellaaaaaaaaaaa!... Oops, I mean, EXPLOSION Wednesday.
I always get explosions and Tennessee Williams lines confused. It's a condition. Look it up. But if you find something, let me know because I just made that up.
Check out this awesome picture of a supernova. [Picture of a supernova] [As we look at the picture, Craig talks on a Southern accent:] Give me another bath towel to dry my hair with. I've just washed it. [Cuts from the picture of the supernova to Craig reading A Streetcar Named Desire.] I mean, [shows picture again] explosion.
In explosive news, [shows article] women really exploded on the scene winning four key primaries in the U.S. Let's do a female explosion. [Pictures of the four women winners explode as Craig describes] Flowers, flowers, flowers, flowers.
Was that sexist? Probably. I was just kidding. Can you just kid sexism? Probably. [long pause] Probably not.
So recently Apple unveiled Safari 5 and here's an article on how to install EXPLOSIONS [explosion over the word "Extensions" in the headline]. Oh, no, wait, that's extensions. Never mind.
According to Stedman Graham, [shows article] Chicago doesn't appreciate OPRAH. That's right, the word Oprah warrants an explosion. What do you want from me, Stedman Graham? I'm from Chicago. I don't watch Oprah but I appreciate what she's done. Here, how about this? Appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate appreciate [breathes in and out deeply] Breathing is my thing. Is that good enough for you, Stedman Graham? Or Steddy as I often like to call you starting now for the first time? Also, who the hell is Stedman Graham?
[shows Wikipedia page about Stedman Graham] Stedman Graham is an American educator, author, businessman, and speaker, who... Graham and Winfrey were ENGAGED to be married in November... He is also the founder of AAD, a non-profit organization that provides services to youth and has awarded over 1.5 million scholarships since the beg.... [sighs] Sounds like Chicago should be appreciating you, Steddy. Although you don't warrant very many explosions.
You know what? I'm just going to go ahead and appreciate who I want, okay? And I appreciate Stella. [Holds up A Streetcar Named Desire] Except that that's Blanche. [points to cover] Or Stanley. I don't know. I saw the movie in high school once. I don't... I barely remember it. EXPLOSION!
[Viewer:] I totally don't want to do this, but my mom's making me. [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
So apparently... So, apparently, it's WEDNESDAY, WEDNES... [Reading from A Streetcar Named Desire in a Southern accent] Give me another bath towel to dry my hair with. I've just washed it.
singing rug, beardlovers, Explosion Wednesday, headlines, breathing being his thing, Wikipedia, wink, outtakes
A Streetcar Named Explosion on YouTube