[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. In Wheezy world, nothing exists outside the frame unless I bring it in. I'm god of the frame.
[holds up hand] Look at that! I have a hand! [wiggles thumb] Opposable thumbs, no less.
It's kinda stuffy in here. I wish I had a window. [Turns camera a little to his right and zooms out so that the window is in the frame] Ahhh, look at the window! Another hand! Wow! Now I can play guitar on my new amplifier or A M P as it is never referred to.
[Craig plays some notes on his guitar with his amp behind him]
When I brought the A M P home, I noticed it had a lot of new settings. Like the Slash setting. [Craig plays guitar to the sound of a heavy metal riff.] The Milli Vanilli. [Craig strums the guitar once and many notes play.] The Stevie Wonder setting. [The screen is black as music plays.] Even a setting for the deaf. How thoughtful. [Craig strums as titles appear over his amp: A minor, C, E minor, E minor (rapidly)] And one that I think will come in handy when we play the Joint Session of Congress: the Joe Wilson setting. [As Craig plays guitar, Wilson can be heard shouting "You lie!" and senators react in shock, start booing. Obama says "It's not true."]
As usual, let's end this with a wink.
[Winker:] My name's Eli Henry and I'm gonna wink and then doubt my abilities. [wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
My band Driftless Pony Club is now selling t-shirts online. Link's in the doobly-doo. Nothing like a little post-credits plugging.
beardlovers, wink, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), merchandise, doobly-doo
AMP on YouTube