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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 271
Original Upload date March 16, 2010
Running time 0:03:26
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by VieilleTaupeVS
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
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"Igloos vs Teepees"
Next →
"Kiss Parts of Me. I'm Part Irish."



[slides in/singing rug] Hey beardlovers. Aaaaaaaah! I got a haircut! Do you like it or do you hate it? [Two clickable annotations appear on screen: Like the haircut, Hate the haircut]
Click here if you hate it. Click here if you like it. [points to annotations] Go for it. Go ahead. Go ahead. You'll be directed back here after those videos are over.
Don't... don't care? Alright, start the intro.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro] [Annotations disappear]
I just read some disturbing news on the internet. You see, I want the entire world's opinion about my haircut. But I just learned that not even my entire country has access to broadband. [shows article] Not even two-thirds, actually. Luckily the FCC is unveiling a plan to bring broadband access to 90 percent of American homes by 2020. 2020?! I'm not even gonna have hair by then. I gotta do something.
[Craig is now standing in the middle of the street. Camera is filming him from window. He yells:] Hey jerks, get some broadband!
Problem solved.
[turns to alternate camera angle] Big news at the South by Southwest Twitter conference. [shows picture] CEO Evan Williams, which sounds more like a hair product to me, [talks in a husky voice:] sex up your sexy hair with Evan Williams. [picture of a model] Make it sexy. [Cuts back to Craig rubbing his head] Oh sorry. [shows article again] unveiled the new @anywhere feature, which has something to do with being able to post Twitter on other sites instead of going to Twitter and apparently a lot of people were disappointed because they thought it was gonna be about advertising on the site and so by the end of the conference it was half-empty and people just walked out [cut to Craig, who is walking out, away from camera] and it was... [turns around] Oh. I'm sorry. I was really bored. Did I just walk out on myself? I'm totally tweeting about that.
[Shows his tweet] "Got so bored with what I was saying for my new video about twitter I walked out on myself. Ever done that? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLROFLMAO"
[says seriously:] I like to indicate laughter to convey the hilarity I feel about the situation. [Stares at camera seriously. Blinks very slowly.]
And since people know that I'm joking, it shields me from ridicule or disagreement of any kind. For instance, grum responds. [shows tweet] "no."
EStodaZ responds [shows tweet] "Many times, that is why I don't get many videos done ROFLCOPTERLMAOCAKES~ But Srsly...."
EStodaZ brings up a good point. One key to success is being prolific. And I think I've found a little bit of success on YouTube because I have a high tolerance for putting stuff out there even if it's crap. Like this video. Did I... accidentally... arrive on a valid point... for this... video? Thanks Twitter.
The point is even if you think something is crap, you should put it out there anyway. And maybe it is crap. But sometimes you need to get through all that crap so you can find that shiny quarter that... you needed... to pass through... that you ate two days ago... when you were paying with change... and it fell in your soup... and you accidentally ate it with a bunch of potato and you thought it was just a hard chicken bone. Sometimes you swallow that... because... you're too lazy to take it out of your mouth.
So EStodaZ, next time you walk out on yourself, you walk right back in. Give yourself a big kiss on the mouth. And say, 'What you did was stupid. But I'm glad you did it. I love you.'
[A clone enters from left of frame:] You love me?
No I hate you, clone! I'm re-enacting EStodaZ loving himself. Get outta here! {The clone, dejected, turns and leaves.]
[A bull winks (chime)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[shot from window of street below. We can see Craig walking on the sidewalk across the street] Someone's coming. Acting as if I'm not insane. Which I clearly am. Oh, he's following me. Great. [We see another guy walking behind Craig.] Now what do I do?
[Craig in the street:] Alright, I'll make you a deal. You get broadband, I'll wash my filthy window.
Ooh look, a quarter. [bends down and picks it up, walks out of the street] Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.

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Like the haircut
Hate the haircut

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, interactive video, headlines, alternate camera angle, Twitter, clone, wink, outtakes

External links

@anywhere on YouTube