82 Naps

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"82 Naps"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 82
2008
Original Upload date November 21, 2008
Running time 0:02:31
Intro chips and salsa intro
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
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"Chicago Obama Rally"
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Video

Transcript

[wheezywaiter dot com chips and salsa intro]
Greetings wheezies.
[Craig is wearing a t-shirt, sportscoat, blue hooded sweatshirt, and a jacket.]
It's November 21 2008. The beginning.
[Now Craig's jacket is gone. The outer layer is the blue hooded sweatshirt.]
A siesta is a short nap taken in the early afternoon often after a midday meal. Siestas are common in the Philippines, China, Bangladesh, Vietnam, India, Italy...
[Now Craig's hooded sweatshirt is gone. Outer layer is the sportscoat.]
Greece, Croatia, Malta, the Middle East, North Africa, Spain, Argentina, Chile. The human need for sleep is determined by two things - the homeostatic sleep propensity, which is basically the amount of time between two big ol' sleeps, and the circadian rhythm, which is more of a... a internal cycle sort of thing. I didn't read that Wikipedia article yet.
[Now the sportscoat is gone. Wheezy is wearing a t-shirt and jeans.] So from the moment you wake up, your homeostatic pressure to sleep will continue to increase until you go to sleep again. So your circadian rhythm for wakefulness won't kick in until late in the afternoon when your homeostatic sleepiness is up here. Observe.
[Two Craigs sit side by side.]
[Craig on the left:] Hi I'm Craig. I'll be playing the part of the circadian rhythm.
[Craig on the right:] And I'm also Craig and I'll be playing the part of the homeostatic sleep propensity.
[Title on the screen: Morning.]
[Circadian rhythm sleeps.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Alright. Let's start the day. I'm going to brush my teeth and put in my contacts. I'm gonna clean my bathroom. I'm gonna drive to work.
[Title on the screen: Midday.]
[Circadian rhythm still seems to be sleeping.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Hmm. Today's kinda boring. Let's see what's on Facebook.
[Title on the screen: Early afternoon]
[Circadian rhythm still appears to be sleeping.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Aww man, shouldn't have had all that chili.
[Title on the screen: Late afternoon]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity looks very tired. Circadian Rhythm is perky, smiling, and full of energy.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Dude... [tilting over out of fatigue] Shut up.
[Title on screen: Evening]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity looks very very tired and annoyed.]
[Circadian rhythm is having a glass of wine and checking his watch.]
[Circadian rhythm:] I think America's Next Top Model is on.
[Homeostatic sleep propensity waves circadian rhythm away.]
[Title on screen: Night time]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity closes his eyes to sleep. Circadian rhythm looks very tired, rubs his head, tilts his head back and sleeps.]
That's how I spend every day.
[Now Craig is wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants]
But it didn't have to be that way if I had taken an early afternoon nap instead of doing this. [clip from earlier:]
[Title on the screen: Early afternoon. Circadian rhythm still appears to be sleeping.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Aww man, shouldn't have had all that chili.
Then the late afternoon wouldn't have been like this. [clip from earlier:]
[Title on the screen: Late afternoon]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity looks very tired, tilting over. Circadian Rhythm is perky, smiling, and full of energy.]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Shut up.
It would have been like this!
[Title on the screen: Late afternoon]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity and circadian rhythm wake at the same time]
[Homeostatic sleep propensity, full of energy:] Whoa dude, what are we gonna do? I wanna do so many things.
[Circadian rhythm:] Yeah! Totally!
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] I want to build stuff. I wanna... I wanna write a screenplay.
[Circadian rhythm:] I'll do anything!
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] I wanna ask my boss for a raise.
[Circadian rhythm:] Anything!
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] You know, when we sync up our wakefulness, you're an okay guy, Circadia.
[Circadian rhythm:] You too, Homeo. Homeo, homeo, wherefore art thou oh Homeo?
[Homeostatic sleep propensity:] Shut up! That's not funny.
[Now Craig is in a different t-shirt (the Nuts about Fruitcake shirt)] So what have we learned? Why am I telling you all of this? I guess it's just that I wonder why the *ding* we don't have siestas in America.
[Wheezy gets in bed:] Write your alderman! The fight for the siestocracy has begun. [pulls blanket up to his chin. closes his eyes. lifts his head from pillow. winks. (ding) turns out the light.]
[Title on screen: please subscribe to the new email list in the sidebar on wheezywaiter.com]
[Outtakes: Circadian rhythm sits sleepily for a few seconds, then perks up, sits up straight, smiling widely]

Recurring elements

wheezies, Wikipedia, clone, *ding*, wink, outtakes

Wheezy words

siestocracy

Notes

Through the course of the video, Wheezy changes from his regular clothes into his sleeping attire. The process is gradual but documented in the transcript above.
The title here on the wiki appears as 82 Naps, but on YouTube/Wheezy's blog, it's actually 82_Naps. The wiki will not allow the title to be displayed correctly.

External links

82_Naps on YouTube