200 Take Wonder
|"200 Take Wonder"|
|Original Upload date||April 12, 2011|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Outro||video game outro|
|Wink submitted by||Shakepool|
audience in Chicago
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Let's get commenty. NutsSwedishGuy writes [shows comment] "I'm here for the Sceptic [pronounces it septic] cam. More sceptic [pronounces it septic] cam, please." I just added the please. That wasn't there. I just made you more polite than you were. You're welcome please.
Just so you know, septic [text on screen: sceptic] is spelled without a c. [text on screen: septic]
[turns to another camera angle labeled Skeptic Cam with a suspicious look on his face.] And I'm not sure why you wanna look at a bunch of poopy. [picture of a septic tank] Hmm.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
In unimportant entertainment news [shows headline] "Lady Gaga falls during Houston concert." [quoting from article] "She was a real professional and jumped back up on stage to finish her set in front of the fans. It was really amazing to see."
Psh, whatever. I'm so sick of it! Lady Gaga fall down. Lady Gaga covered in meat. Lady Gaga blows her nose. Lady Gaga ingests a live trout. That would actually be amazing.
Fish scales are pokey. Easy does it. [As Craig says this, the words appear next to him on screen: Fish scales are pokey. Easy does it. - Craig Benzine]
But seriously, we love her so much that we celebrate when she falls down? I fall down all the time! Especially when I'm drunk! Let's have a parade!
Wheezy Waiter fell down again. Hooray!! [audience laughter and applause]
But seriously, I realize they weren't celebrating the fall itself but the fact that she got up and continued to entertain. That's just what you do as an entertainer. This shot here took me, like, 20 [text over Craig's mouth: 200] tries. I almost died.
Flashback! [Ripple effect]
But seriously I realize that they din...
But seriously I realize...
But seriously I realize that they did... GRRR....
But seriously I realize they weren't celebrating [slides down in his chair] the fall itself but [sliding further down] the fact that she got up and continued to enter... aah, I shouldn't have worn silk pants!
But seriously I realize they weren't celebrating the fa... [alligator eating noise] [Craig cries out in pain] aah ha ha ha! Alligator got out of his cage. [lifting his legs onto his chair, looking down] Help me! Somebody! Somebody help!
But seriously I realize they weren't celebrating the wall itself... The wall? Was Pink Floyd there? Am I right?
But seriously I realize...
But seriously I realize... [punches himself] Grr! Get it right! [punches himself hard two more times]
But seriously I realize that Scarlett Johansson naked in a bathtub full of olive oil... whoa! Freudian slip.
[exhales] But seriously I realize that they weren't celebrating the fall itself but the fact that she got up to continue to entertain. That's just what you do when you're [sniffs air] I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done! Lady Gaga my way to the coffee for inspiration. [gets up and falls. gets up and falls.] Oh! I keep falling down! [gets up] Oh no! [falls down] [gets up, starts singing:] Can't read my can't read my [falls down] [gets up] No you can't read my [falls down] poker face. [reaches up from ground, continually falling, for coffee] Pah-pah-pah-poker face pah-pah-poker face. [grabs coffee pot]
[sits back down, sighing. sips coffee.] Mmm. I'm gonna check the script.
[picks up page and reads it] But seriously I realize... [eagle flies in, squawks, takes script, and flies away]... yoink! Eagle took my script! [runs through apartment, looking up] He's gonna sell it on eBay! [Craig runs out the door of his building, looking up. Runs down sidewalk, looking up, yelling and shaking his fist.] Eagle! You'll rue the day, eagle! [walking down sidewalk, looking up, still shaking his fist] Angry! Angry! Tired. [Craig stops walking for a second and then resumes walking.] Angry! Angry! I forgot why I'm here. [turns around, confused. looks back up to the sky] Angry! Angry! But I'm also tired. [walks up to a some trashcans against a graffitied wall] What is it? 6:30 in the evening? [sits down on ground, leaning against trashcans] Ah. Ahh. [falls asleep and starts snoring] [closeup of Craig sleeping against trashcans in the dark. He stirs in his sleep] Bad dreams. [goes back to snoring. It's daytime. He wakes suddenly.] 12 hours later! [gets up and runs] [Walks through the the kitchen and back towards to his camera, stretching and yawning. sits down.] But seriously I realize they weren't celebrating the fall itself but the... [punches himself] [Ripple effect to indicate return to the present]
And that's why I didn't do a video yesterday.
[A video game character (from Left 4 Dead 2?) in a helmet with a gun winks (ding). Another character walks up behind him:] You know he's not going to be able to see that through the helmet, right? [Winker lowers his head.] Awww.
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
Thank you to everyone who came out to Driftless Pony Club's CD release show on Saturday. Something happened there that was definitely a first for one of our shows.
[Craig, on stage:] I think, uh, Adam has something he wants to say to Amber.
[Adam, in the audience:] Hey, would you marry me anyway?
[Craig:] She said yes.
[Adam and Amber kiss as the audience cheers.]
Congratulations, Adam and Amber. Your love is just such an inspiration... [starts crying] I look so hot on stage. [An image of Craig on stage fills a portion of the screen as Craig sobs.] Yowza! [Continues crying]
singing rug, beardlovers, comments, skeptic cam, headlines, Craig quotes, laugh track, alligator pit, Scarlett Johansson, "I love it when the coffee's done!", song, eagle, wink, Driftless Pony Club (DPC)
200 Take Wonder on YouTube