|Original Upload date||January 30, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Christian|
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Good morning beardlovers. I feel sick. I can't imagine why.
[Black and white clip from a previous video with "3 Days Ago" written on it:] But someone once told me you can't actually get sick from bad milk. It just tastes bad. I think this guy told me. [picture of Wheezy's boss] [smells milk] Oh, that's not putrid enough for me to not drink it.
Nope, got nothing.
You'll notice a difference mise-en-scene today. Mise-en-scene is a pretentious French word that film students use to refer to stuff in the background. I wanted to reflect my inner turmoil. This coffee maker represents the viruses brewing inside me. This microwave represents my possible fever. And this lamp [turns the lamp on] represents my hope. And this outside represents a healthy far-off land where I long to be. [points at oven mitt] This is the mittened hand of God controlling my fate.
I got this thing. And it's *ding*ing golden. Someone said that recently. Oh yeah, it's what I always say about my beard. Well, I'm shaving it off next week.
[closeup of beard and sound of gasping]
Sorry, beard, you gotta go.
[closeup of beard:] Why?
I'm going to have a beard-growing contest with Toddly00.
[closeup of beard:] I hate you.
We're both shaving off our beards next week and we're going to chronicle their growth. Commenters decide who's the winner. And Toddly, you've got quite a bit to compete with. Back in my youth, I traveled to the hills of Malaysia where I met Raaa, and he taught me the ancient art of rapid beard growth. Yeah! Look out!
I got this thing. And it's *ding*ing golden. Oh yeah, Rod Blagojevich also said that on a tape about Obama's open Senate seat. He was impeached yesterday. [Title on screen: Actually, he was ousted.] [slaps slap bracelet on his wrist] Woo! In case you're a new subscriber, I celebrate by using a slap bracelet. [slaps slap bracelet on his wrist] Wowoo! I also eat breakfast by using puns. [takes a bite of a peach] Mmm. This is a good im-peach. Oh *shirt* it's Free Bagelojevich Friday.
[Mike takes a bagel, Wheezy grabs him and prepares to punch him. Mike, holding up the bagel says:] I have this thing and it's *ding*ing golden. [Craig holds up the peach and punches Mike with it. Title on screen "(im)peached". Mike flies backwards. Craig takes a bagel and leaves.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[wheezywaiter dot com or youtube dot com slash wheezywaiter outro]
The clip from the previous video comes from Apple Jackson 5.
(Im)peach on YouTube